FALLING BACK UP is personal life soundtrack inspired by my 2013, interpreted by my first continuous mixtape project with the intention to sooth the soul, re-energize the body, and take you away as needed.
A huge thank you to my amazingly talented friend, DJ SO SO JEFF for mixing my song selections together, creating magic, and collaborating with me on this special project for 3 months. Much respect to all of the original artists and especially to all of the producers for their unique renditions and remixes. Please download and share with other music lovers out there.
Make 2014 your year of endless possibilities, and be sure to include plenty of good music to go with it. Kill the radio, press play, unplug yourself, and enjoy.
1. I Want You (felkon remix) - Art Is A Consequence
2. Lady (kaytranada remix) - Mojo
3. I Want You (kaytranada remix) - Common feat. Will.I.Am.
4. What’s It Gonna Be? (kaytranada remix) - Busta Rhymes feat. Janet
5. All Your Goodies Are Gone - Dennis Coffey feat. Mayer Hawthorne
6. Smoke & Mirrors (sg lewis remix) - Patrice
7. Unthinkable (fwdslxsh remix) - Alicia Keys
8. Feelings - NativeKid
9. I Wanna - Fwdslxsh
10. If (kaytranada remix) - Janet Jackson
11. Aaliyah’s Boat - Satin Jackets
12. Changed - Mario and Vidis feat. Ernesto
13. What I Might Do - Ben Pearce
14. Thinking About You (ryan hemswoth bootleg) - Frank Ocean
15. Love You Down (esentrik remix) - INOJ
16. Tell Me (jd reid remix) - Dru Hill
17. Hymn x Body Party - Dubbel Dutch & Ciara
18. Can You Stand The Rain (bum water rework) - Boyz II Men
Produced and compiled by Philip Cariaso, Jr.
Mixed by DJ So So Jeff
Album artwork created by Philip Cariaso, Jr. feat. Adam Scott Cook
Photography by Eddie Lathormvang
I forget, like most days, that my living currently goes unknown or unnoticed. My postings can offer the only window of opportunity to this secret of a story that is my own and a pause on its sharing results in the inability for anyone to pinpoint who they think I’ve become.
“You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.”—Louis CK (via psych-facts)
“So what’s your doll’s name?” Boo asked me.
“Barbie,” I said. “All their names are Barbie.”
“I see,” she said. “Well, I’d think that would get boring, everyone having the same name.”
I thought about this, then said, “Okay, then her name is Sabrina.”
"Well, that’s a very nice name," Boo said. I remember she was baking bread, kneading the dough between her thick fingers. "What does she do?"
“Do?” I said.
“Yes.” She flipped the dough over and started in on it from the other side. “What
does she do?”
“She goes out with Ken,” I said.
“And what else?”
“She goes to parties,” I said slowly. “And shopping.”
“Oh,” Boo said, nodding.
“She can’t work?”
“She doesn’t have to work,” I said.
“Because she’s Barbie.”
“I hate to tell you, Caitlin, but somebody has to make payments on that town house
and the Corvette,”
Boo said cheerfully. “Unless Barbie has a lot of family money.”
I considered this while I put on Ken’s pants.
Boo started pushing the dough into a pan, smoothing it with her hand over the top.
“You know what I think, Caitlin?” Her voice was soft and nice, the way she always spoke to me.
“I think your Barbie can go shopping, and go out with Ken, and also have a productive and satisfying career of her own.” She opened the oven and slid in the bread pan, adjusting its position on the rack.
“But what can she do?” My mother didn’t work and spent her time cleaning the house and going to PTA.
I couldn’t imagine Barbie, whose most casual outfit had sequins and go-go boots, doing such things.
Boo came over and plopped right down beside me. I always rememberher being on my level; she’d sit on the edge of the sandbox, or lie across her bed with me and Cass as we listened to
“Well,” she said thoughtfully, picking up Ken and examining his perfect physique.
“What do you want to
do when you grow up?”
I remember this moment so well; I can still see Boo sitting there on the floor, cross-legged, holding my Ken and watching my face as she tried to make me see that between my mother’s
PTA and Boo’s strange ways there was a middle ground that began here with my Barbie, Sab-rina, and led right to me.
“Well,” I said abruptly, “I want to be in advertising.” I have no idea where this came from.
“Advertising,” Boo repeated, nodding. “Okay. Advertising it is. So Sabrina has to go to work every day, coming up with ideas for commercials and things like that.”
“She works in an office,” I went on. “Sometimes she has to work late.”
“Sure she does,” Boo said. “It’s hard to get ahead. Even if you’re Barbie.”
“Because she wants to get promoted,” I added. “So she can pay off the town house.
And the Corvette.”
“Very responsible of her,” Boo said.
“Can she be divorced?” I asked. “And famous for her commercials
“She can be anything,” Boo told me, and this is what I remember most, her freckled face so solemn, as if she knew she was the first to tell me. “And so can you.”
honestly a good partner isn’t necessarily someone who loves the exact same things you love but rather someone who is willing to listen to you ramble on and on about a particular subject that you’re passionate about even if they have little to no interest in it